I watched the mostly white men flowing in both directions and wondered if they’d noticed me, my dense black beard and almond skin, and what they saw. Two drinks in and my back was still glued to the wall. My head seemed to float above me like a helium balloon I imagined a smiley face scrawled across it in magic marker.
But being back inside one of my frequent gay haunts also felt somehow sour-sweet, like the Cuervo and soda I gripped too tight. Partly, I was still getting used to breathing indoor air, to being around people at all.
Unmasked and hyper-aware of the midnight crowd swelling around me, I felt my heart suddenly beating too fast.
